Looking back over my posts in previous years, I think there might be a theme developing for this time of year. I’ve no idea why, but this seems to be the time when I question why I blog, what it means to me, and whether it is worth continuing.
I originally started at the suggestion of my counsellor, when I was going through CBT for depression. He got me writing about thoughts and feelings in a way I’d never done before, and encouraged me to develop these pieces into blog posts. This was a huge step into the unknown for me, but I eventually did it – three months after I first set the page up! – and was taken aback at the amount of support I received, and at how my words touched a chord with so many people. I still occasionally revisit mental health as a subject, but it didn’t take me long to realise that there were many others writing about the subject on a regular basis, and they were much better at it than I was. That was nearly five years ago, and since then my posts have been sporadic. If you’re looking for someone who’ll post something every day, then I’m not for you. I envy the creativity of those who manage to find something to say every day – but I’m not like that, and I’d rather post only when I want my small voice to be heard. I did try the November blog posting month thing twice, but found that I was filling and padding just to meet the commitment: I don’t normally manage 30 posts in a year, let alone a month!
This post is exactly a month since my last one. Whilst there have been many things I could have said since then none of them seemed sufficiently new or substantial for a full post. I could have thrown out a few shorter pieces, but that, for me, isn’t what blogging means. It works for others, but not for me. I don’t feel comfortable writing just a sentence or two and sharing it here – that feels more like the way I use Facebook, if I’m honest. I could also have commented on my world view, but I’ve done that before – and no doubt will again – but anything I said now would only feel like I was repeating myself. And I’m not a ‘proper’ political commentator anyway!
So why am I posting this, and what do I have to say today that makes this worth posting – in my opinion – anyway? The reason is a very personal one for me. Two years ago, the world lost a wonderful person, who was taken by cancer at the stupidly early age of 45. On this day last year, I marked her passing with the post I’m reblogging alongside this piece. This has become one of my more ‘liked’ posts, and whilst many of you will have seen it before there are plenty who have followed my blog since then who won’t have read it. Even if you have, it would be good if you could read it again to mark her passing – I will always stand by what I said then, and know that I owe it to her as well as to myself to keep this blog going, even if I’m far from the most prolific of bloggers.
RIP Cyd. I miss you.
I think my existential ‘crisis’ is over. Yes, really! My last post was nearly a month ago and that was merely a reblog of an earlier post, with some added words to put it into current context. I raised the question about why we blog, and whether it was worth it. I said that I was working on a full post to share all of my reasoning, and I still am. But I’ve also been looking back over my previous nearly four years’ worth of ramblings and this seems to be a topic to which I keep returning! Maybe another day, then, and I’ll try to draw them all together into one composite post. Possibly….
So why am I here today? July 28th. Is it a special day in the calendar? No, not as far as I know, but it has special meaning for me. When I started this blog it…
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