Santa Problems

[I once posted a Christmas-themed piece of (exactly – count them!) 100 word flash fiction – The First Coming – and thought I’d try it again.]


The reindeer had let him down: after too much Christmas spirit tasting they were donnered and blitzened. It’s why Rudolph’s nose is red – like Alex Ferguson’s.

He only worked one night a year: this could get him sacked! Without reindeer he was going to have to charter loads of flights. He managed to make bookings, and after taking the park’n’ride (200 miles away from the airport) his CheapoAir flight awaited.

Then he saw the huge guy at the desk, menacingly flexing a pair of latex gloves: “Did you pack these bags yourself, sir?”

“My elves did. I’m buggered, aren’t I?”

©️ as shown

The First Coming

For some time I’ve been toying with the idea of writing some fiction. I don’t want to take on too much, so the flash fiction genre seems an ideal place to start. Flash fiction has several definitions, but I’m taking the most restrictive (and easiest to finish!): stories of 100 words maximum. This is my first effort to be shared, and you may recognise where I borrowed the idea from: it’s a modern day reworking of a well-known story! I hope you like it.


“You what?!” screamed Mary, at the Stranger who had just appeared from nowhere. “I can’t be! I’ve never done it with anyone, not even Joe.”

“Trust me,” the Stranger said, “I have it on the highest authority.”

“No f***ing way!” Mary shouted, and stomped off angrily.

But on the way home she started thinking more calmly; “Maybe it’ll be OK, Joe and I both want kids.” But then reality dawned: he’d never believe her. There was only one thing for it: she was going to need a new trackie and to get her teeth done for the Jeremy Kyle Show.