It struck me yesterday, after I commented about Christmas being a good time with family, that not everyone is lucky enough to have that. Some will be alone, others will be separated from some or all of their family. Christmas is always a special time for children, and it is a very sad situation when parents cannot enjoy it with them.
A couple of months ago I reblogged some posts by a friend who is a victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Having been chatting with him yesterday it seemed about time that I write again about this, as it needs to be more widely known about, and much more needs to be done – especially in the family courts – to prevent it wrecking lives. My first thought was to write another piece but, having looked back at what I wrote then, I felt that it covered all the bases. So I’m reproducing the whole piece below, and encourage you to read it, click on the links to my friend’s blog, and see just how damaging PAS can be:
Those of you who have been following my blog for some time will know that it is very rare that I reblog anything. There needs to be a special reason for this: looking back over the few I have done, one was because a master parody blogger made me laugh a lot, so I shared it, the others have generally been to support people doing good things. This one is to support a friend. I’ll be sharing three posts with you that he made over the weekend, but wanted to put them in context first.
My friend, I’ll call him JD (for John Doe), is the victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS for short. You may not have heard of this, and judging by this article in the ever-reliable Wikipedia the jury is out on it in terms of it being recognised as a medical condition. But believe me, if you drop the ‘Syndrome’ part, the fact of Parental Alienation is very real and causes a great deal of pain and heartache to those involved. I am fortunate that I have never suffered this, and will leave it to JD to tell you what the awfulness of it is like. You will see on his blog a link to his Twitter profile – his account is usually locked but if you use the #PAS hashtag you’ll get an idea of what people have to say about this.
He usually uses password protection for his posts but I noticed that he did not do so with these three. I asked him why and he said that he wanted to get the widest possible readership, and was happy to let me reblog for him. It came as a shock to me a year or two ago when his fiancée told me the identity of his ex-wife: she was someone I followed on Twitter and at that point was a blogger, until she was required by the Court to remove her blog – basically it was a mess of lies and abuse. She is still on Twitter and has a large following, including several people who are mutual followers. At least two of my fellow bloggers – they are good, caring people, and we mutually follow blogs – are also regular interlocutors with her. I so want to warn them that they are being deceived, but it’s hardly my place to do so! I know they will be as surprised as I was if they should ever find out what I know.
The reason for this is that JD’s ex-wife behaves like a sociopath – if you aren’t familiar with the word, this link will give you an idea of what it means. I’ve written before about the downside of sites like Twitter, in that you have no real idea if the persona you are seeing is really true. For the most part, I trust that we are all honest with ourselves and others. I certainly am, and break contact if I ever find out that I have been misled, as I did two years ago with the woman who turned against me, abused me and got her sycophants to join in. Another example of sociopathic behaviour, I think! Fortunately, my troll seems to have given up on Twitter but JD’s ex-wife is still on there, peddling her false persona, either unaware or uncaring of the massive hurt she is causing, not to mention the potential damage she is doing to all of her children, by whichever partner.
But that’s more than enough from me. I’ll leave you to JD’s words, which you will find by following the links below. I hope they have the same impact on you that they did on me.
And this is me today, again. I do hope that you have managed to read that and follow the links. I know that many others are in this situation and occasionally you hear of cases that have come to a happy conclusion. But many more don’t, so anything that can be done to spread awareness will be welcome, and will help alienated parents to ‘keep the faith.’ As my friend said this morning: ‘Every little helps!’